I ran across this steaming pile of nugget called 10 Reasons Why You Should Teach Your Sons To Pee Sitting Down written by dadcamp. Blogging to me is an act of self relief, so any opinion shared on a blog shouldn’t be judged to harsh. I really don’t care if you say the world is orange, just don’t try to push that color on me. I respect everyone’s ideas equally but somethings just set me off and I have to vent about them.
I don’t really know why this post got to me so much but I read it a week ago and still haven’t closed the tab. Maybe cause I didn’t want to come out by telling this guy that he’s wrong on everything that came out of his mouth or maybe because I wanted some time to actually think of what to say without being angry
Like most men out there it really isn’t an issue that we fight for or that we let just slip by that is until someone tells us that we might be doing it wrong (for some reason vegans come to mind). Now how dadcamp raises his sons is up to him and his partner. But the problem I have with it is how he tries to reason it for everyone else. I wasn’t part of the early beginnings of my first son’s life, but when I got here I could immediately see that a single woman was raising him (as if I didn’t know already).
There are some tell-tale signs that a boy has been raised by a single mother instead of a couple of parents. The main one and first one that stood out to me was when he peed. He would do the little boy thing and drop his pants and underwear to his ankles, then hold his penis as if he was holding a flute, 10 fingers on it ( I say flute because I think you hold it with 10 fingers, I don’t know cause I’ve never played one). This is one of those situations that you really can’t explain until you are in it.
Taking the non-macho route, MEN STAND AND WOMEN SIT, I decided to express my thoughts on his points. I didn’t want to rehash what he posted but if you want to see what he did then feel free to go to his post and read it at the link above.
- Target Practice – Even from an early age boys want to be a Firemen because they see a man with a powerful hose. Something that every boy has experienced as a child. Fun games and experiences come from being a trained sharpshooter.
- Number 2 – As an adult I have never had a bad experience switching gears from #1 to #2 as a child it never really mattered. I was always more worried about not having to wash my hands.
- No Full Moon – Read above for my reasons for children raised by single parents.
- Missing The Target – The laziest reason to make train your child to sit is so that you don’t have to clean the bathroom floor. This really got to me and I had to mentally step away from the keyboard.
- Splish Splash – The point that this has to be mentioned twice in a list of 10, we should go ahead and call it was it is…filler.
- Comfortable Throne – I grew up with 2 brothers and even then it was a worry that they would take the phone in the restroom because I couldn’t trust them that they would clean themselves and touch the phone before washing their hands. So I am the kind of person who doesn’t spend a lot of time in there for the fact that there’s no reason to. Checking emails, texting, or even using the phone in there is a big no-no. It’s a place to be left alone and respected, when I’m in there its my space and my quality time.
- Can’t Reach – There is no place a kid cannot reach with his stream of power. Every restroom is has a short stall or short urinal. Even stadiums have a trough, disgusting but still effective.
- Erectile Function – Ah morning wood is a problem that each man fights almost daily, but wouldn’t a cold seat be worse than the second hardest thing in the morning, leaning. Boom! Problem averted now you can finally open your eyes and finish peeing.
- Healthier – Now I can’t really debate this one because he is citing some scientific research, maybe, tossed around with some politicians in Sweden. I know that squatting when pooping is easier for prostate problematic people. That is from my research on it. Personally healthier is not what I would call some of the Mens restroom stalls I have seen. Hovering comes to mind.
- Leaving the Seat Up – Another point made to bring satire to the list. We are raising boys to become men let them fight their own battles with the partner they choose. To solve this problem, all you would have to do is TALK with your son to let him know we put it down for women to show respect for other people.
Now It may seem like I hated on him for every point he had but until I read his article I didn’t care which way my son decided to pee, I wouldn’t make fun of him either way. The kids at school would do that until he would choose to stand with the rest of the boys and fire away. That’s just how kids and brothers are. Even if he chose to sit he would eventually stand for all the fun games and activities boys have when peeing. “Spraying the stuff off of the toilet bowl”, “crossing streams”, seeing who could pee the furthest, or getting the highest arch, and of course the worse one being “peeing on each others shoes”.
I just went with what The Higher Power gave me as a tool and the know how to stand and deliver when needed. If he wanted to make a post that would stir some people into commenting on his post then he accomplished that. I mean everyone has to click it to read it so why not make views from pissing off people. Pun intended.