My Fatboy or soon to be bullied son

We use very hurtful nicknames for our kids. I call my 7 year old “Fatboy” and my 2 year old “Chubbs”. I don’t say it to be mean but that’s just the nick name that stuck with them. And for a while there my 7 year old really liked Fatboy Tobacco till he found out what Tobacco was (we saw it on a sign one day while we were in a different city.) So he rather just have it as Fatboy since he really likes it. DSCN5909
Now once again I have to mention that I love my sons more than life, again before someone gets mad at me. My girlfriend is still working on her Masters in counseling or something like that, Continue reading

Is My Son a Bully or Is He Just Flirting?

Weird dad thought. My 7-year-old son wanted to tell me something that was told to him in school. “Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter to get more stupider.” At first we told him that he shouldn’t say that because he can hurt people’s feelings. And we don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. We even asked him what if someone said that to your mom, wouldn’t that hurt her feelings?  And that’s where we left it because I thought it was over, but now I kind of feel different towards it.

What if its his way of flirting with girls on the playground. Kids would chase girls and play (pull) with their hair and call them names so that they would chase them back. Since at the moment he doesn’t know how to talk to them or how to act with them. I see why he would flirt/bully them just so he could get a reaction from them, in his world its only boys not girls.

In a previous job I worked as an assistant to a director of an Institute that was spreading the word of STEM (Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics) education and a big hurdle I kept coming across was women in the STEM field. These are fields where men grossly outnumber women and harassment/bullying is rampant. I saw that girls and boys are mentally grown different and as they age they are told that they are either good at math or it’s just not their strong area. So to try to curb this behavior in our sons we have bought them a doll for every birthday or Christmas. This Christmas they age getting the Lammily doll [The first fashion doll made according to typical human body proportions. Based on measurements of an average 19-year-old woman’s body.] We also aim to try to stop the garbage that is boy means blue and girl means pink, along with boy toys and girl toys. He recently told his cousin (female) that she couldn’t play Legos with him because “she was a girl and didn’t know how to build things with them” while at the same time putting the Legos together with his aunts girlfriend.

But after hearing this from him I think I should step up my father duties and push him to start inviting girls over or to at least start making female friends more. I know he knows some girls from class and from the Boys and Girls club but he never hangs out with them. I was told, that at his age its more of boys playing with boys and not really playing with girls. I wonder if there is any truth to this.

What are your thoughts? Do most 7-year-olds pick their friends based off of gender segregation?