He wrote he wants to kill my son.

I got a phone call from my girlfriend sounding pissed. The cops had called her first. After reassuring her that no one was hurt. He told her that our son was in an altercation with another student.

20160201_092204-horz-crop

A=my son, J=the other kid, Z=third kid (All kids are in 3rd grade)

From the cops point of view. ~11:15 am

A gave the substitute teacher a letter that said “I want to kill myself” and on the other side it said “I’m going to kill you.” A said J gave him the letter. He took the kids out of the room and separated them so everyone is safe. But he just wanted to let us know what was going on.

Continue reading

Advertisements

My Fatboy or soon to be bullied son

We use very hurtful nicknames for our kids. I call my 7 year old “Fatboy” and my 2 year old “Chubbs”. I don’t say it to be mean but that’s just the nick name that stuck with them. And for a while there my 7 year old really liked Fatboy Tobacco till he found out what Tobacco was (we saw it on a sign one day while we were in a different city.) So he rather just have it as Fatboy since he really likes it. DSCN5909
Now once again I have to mention that I love my sons more than life, again before someone gets mad at me. My girlfriend is still working on her Masters in counseling or something like that, Continue reading

Is My Son a Bully or Is He Just Flirting?

Weird dad thought. My 7-year-old son wanted to tell me something that was told to him in school. “Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter to get more stupider.” At first we told him that he shouldn’t say that because he can hurt people’s feelings. And we don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. We even asked him what if someone said that to your mom, wouldn’t that hurt her feelings?  And that’s where we left it because I thought it was over, but now I kind of feel different towards it.

What if its his way of flirting with girls on the playground. Kids would chase girls and play (pull) with their hair and call them names so that they would chase them back. Since at the moment he doesn’t know how to talk to them or how to act with them. I see why he would flirt/bully them just so he could get a reaction from them, in his world its only boys not girls.

In a previous job I worked as an assistant to a director of an Institute that was spreading the word of STEM (Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics) education and a big hurdle I kept coming across was women in the STEM field. These are fields where men grossly outnumber women and harassment/bullying is rampant. I saw that girls and boys are mentally grown different and as they age they are told that they are either good at math or it’s just not their strong area. So to try to curb this behavior in our sons we have bought them a doll for every birthday or Christmas. This Christmas they age getting the Lammily doll [The first fashion doll made according to typical human body proportions. Based on measurements of an average 19-year-old woman’s body.] We also aim to try to stop the garbage that is boy means blue and girl means pink, along with boy toys and girl toys. He recently told his cousin (female) that she couldn’t play Legos with him because “she was a girl and didn’t know how to build things with them” while at the same time putting the Legos together with his aunts girlfriend.

But after hearing this from him I think I should step up my father duties and push him to start inviting girls over or to at least start making female friends more. I know he knows some girls from class and from the Boys and Girls club but he never hangs out with them. I was told, that at his age its more of boys playing with boys and not really playing with girls. I wonder if there is any truth to this.

What are your thoughts? Do most 7-year-olds pick their friends based off of gender segregation?

I Always Abandon My Kids

DSCN3315I love my sons and I make it a point to tell them all the time. That doesn’t mean I need to watch them like a hawk or even worse, as a helicopter parent. Much like Lizzie Heiselt who just wrote a nice piece about leaving her 7-year-old at home by himself, I do the same. I have steadily done that ever since he was in Kindergarten.

Continue reading

The Things a Stay at Home does

Not one person has said it but you can see when they say “you stay at home with your kids?” , that they imply that your kinda of a mooch for not having a job. That in some part of the conversation they feel like it’s sleep all day and play video games, the never-ending college dorm days.

My job at home is never-ending. Last time I had a day off was in the beginning of March when my mother stayed with us for a few weeks. Other than that MAYBE once every two months. Those are the days my girlfriend takes the kids for the day to another city to go shopping and I get to stay at home. Which is just either playing, usually shooting games that my kids can’t watch me play. Or hear me talking into the headset since the first and ONLY incident.

The incident was when I first got the PS3 and headset and decided to say a few words and in the middle of the words I saw that my son was watching. I caught myself before he heard something that wasn’t suppose to hear and hear me say “Mother of……” then quickly came the word “dog!”. So now when he is playing a game or gets hurt he says “Mother of dog”. Yeah that one was my fault, I’ll take all the blame on that one. On the bright side it gave me a great way of learning that I need to watch EVERY thing that comes out of my mouth.

There are things I wish I could do for hours at a time without getting into trouble or being a bad father. I would love to play video games, watch TV, go out drinking, champagne beer pong, have a hobby, pretend to like sport, hell SLEEP IN but most of my time is spent taking care of two guys who just want attention. It’s an all day thing. If one’s not hungry the other one is. This messes with their nap times also since one is eating and the other is just playing. So it’s a constant feeding time.  But the few times that they both fall asleep at the same time I get to read things on my computer but then it’s Mission Impossible around here. Sneaking around trying to do things that aren’t loud or jumping over the parts of the floor board that creak when you step on them. This can go on for up to three hours. Those days are almost the greatest unscheduled breaks where I can be off of father duty.

Most of my free time goes into future planning: birthdays, school registration, teaching my children everything, college requirements, apartment finding, shopping list, car maintenance, doctor appointments, check ups, all other kinds of fun things to do with the family, and working on and keeping the budget. Yes I do all of that. Even though most of my ideas for gifts, lessons, shopping list, and fun things for the family to do get shot down with playful negativity. I still think of great gifts for her father because he’s only been given gifts from four daughters for the last 26 years. The lessons I teach my son are sometimes harsh ones but I was raised in a more harsher way of getting hit when you did something wrong. I am not so quick with spankings but more of the harsher father doesn’t approve of voice and no playing 3DS for a day punishment. The fun things I mention to her are not her idea of fun, going to a Monster Truck show or going to watch a WWE event or riding a motorcycle. But we do more free family oriented things, which is still very fun.

So most of my day is on a hectic hurry to make others happy and also to make sure that when my significant other gets home that I can solve as many of our problems as possible.

P.S. She had a bad day yesterday at work and came home upset so tonight we decided to scare her when she got home.

It was creepier when he was smiling.

This is how we cheer up mom