I’m Clueless on How To be a Dad

From what I can tell from the people I follow on here or articles I read on being a dad. Most of the time we all are just trying not to screw it up. 

The most recent information we got was from my girlfriend’s father about my son’s behavioral problems in school. Just like a wise old man he said something along the lines of “you just have to keep at it and hope that every day he will change a little until he gets rid of his bad behavior”. This kinda hit me harder than I thought, it really made me step outside the box and think about my philosophy on children upbringing.

At the moment it’s a circle of telling him not to do something and him going to school and then him getting into trouble for doing the said thing. He even comes home and tells me that he did it and that he doesn’t know why he talks in class but he really likes to. This is just one example of how he keeps acting bad in school or in public.

I had a father till my early teens and as much as I can remember (I have a horrible memory) he wasn’t the best of fathers since he was always working  and eventually became a drug dealer. So being the middle child I really didn’t have a high standard of fatherhood.

Spankings, time-outs, grounding, extra handwriting assignments, and punishments have all been used to curb this behavior and it seems like it’s not working.  My biggest fear is that something I do will ruin him somehow as a person later in his life. Maybe too much time-outs make him hate standing in corners or sitting in desk? I wish I knew since I don’t want the little guy hating school because I made him write more alphabets or writing apology letters to teachers.

I can accept it about it and not be scared to admit that as a father I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. A good part of the time me and the kids are trying to figure it out on the go, and then it becomes the rule at home. So “we” don’t know that you can’t pick the toddler up and run with him because you can drop him until he does it.

A lot of the people I talk to about how they bring their children up all say different things but all kind of sound the same. Just love your child as much as you can and it will work out in the end. Damn if that doesn’t sound like a great idea.

 

If any one has a suggestion that works let me know in the comments since every bit of advice can always be helpful, thanks.